I am turning into someone I once hated.

I am turning into someone I never wanted to be | Chai High is an Indian Blog started by Shivani Krishan

Anti-social. Eccentric. Chemically clean. Neatness-obsessed. People-hating. Super-stressed. Perfectionist (in all the wrong ways).

That’s who I have become.

Somebody dumping a wet towel on my bed is enough to drive me up the wall. Forget maid absenteeism, traffic and over-spending.

I expect things to be perfect. And people to be perfect too. And when that doesn’t happen, well, I start screaming in my head, scowling on the outside and snapping at my loved ones.

I have built a wall around me.  Concentrating on just getting to work and back. And managing to keep myself sane from the stress, by cozying up afterwards in my warm furry blanket and a hot cocoa. Alone. Without small talk, pointless chitter and anything to distract me from my “me” time. Because, sometimes I really feel like I would lose it. In the sea of petty conversations, overworked-ness, less money and a zillion other things that threaten to haunt me and drag me to the darkness.

“No”, I tell myself. And to stay afloat, I go home a little earlier, pamper myself a little more, dress a little brighter, and drink a little more tea.

A decade ago, I was pretty much the opposite. Like I was telling some people yesterday, I was crazy enough to rub “conjunctivitis fluid” in my eye, so I could get the illness too and therefore be able to bunk class and games and stay in the hostel with 20 other fellow patients who played cards  – spit and taboo, while we – the healthier ones sat and got bored in class. Talk about being rewarded for good health.

I was carefree enough to go a week without bathing – twice, and not give it a second thought – We’d wet our towels and wash our faces as proof of our “hygiene” to our matron.

And we would eat a ton of junk (I don’t touch fried food now – I get anxiety after every bite of unhealthy food) and we’d empty a dozen packets of Lays on the counterpane or bedcover, and eat it straight from that. Yes. We were a bit too dirty.

I am the exact opposite now.

And I don’t think I like me very much.

I think I miss the me who would laugh with her braces on display, and flap her hands around like a chicken.

I miss the me who wouldn’t stress over the sugary french toast I had for breakfast.

I miss the me who missed her friends, who could talk nonstop and laugh about the silly things.

I miss the me who wouldn’t care about a wet towel on the bed. Or the pile of clothes in the corner.

I miss the 13-year-old me, even as I know I could never be that again. And this 13-year-old me would hate her ‘twice-the-age’ version. Maybe this is growing up. Or maybe it’s me who has taken growing up too seriously. Or it could just be the circumstances that have changed me. Or it could just be the genes kicking in. I don’t know.


Well. From what I hear, I think this is just called “growing-up”. And I don’t think I like it very much.




Fashion. Style. And why rental is the hot, new way to nail the two.

Fashion. Hmm… what is it exactly? Art? Style? Or just plain advertising? Here’s what I think.

It is art at her vainest best, amidst trumpets, drums and all that finery. The sparkle of an earring, the shimmy of feathers, the rustle of silk…

It is Art’s dramatic outburst on stage. A tantrum that inspires millions. Crop tops, palazzos, leggings, culottes… A gust of wind that goes as swiftly as it comes.

Screen Shot 2015-12-21 at 1.04.38 pmPhotography by Saurabh Dua | Click here for more of Saurabh Dua’s work…

A stubborn bang of the judge’s gavel. Order, order. A summer fling, tugging at your heart-strings (and budget), until you’re exploding into 50 shades of desire. *Sigh* those butter-hued platforms

It is art that lasts a season. “The only thing constant in fashion is change.”

Fashion is art that cannot be ignored. Because it’s been worn, carried, walked-in or slung-on by your friend, neighbour, colleague or the boy you brought home…

Until finally… wait for it… finally you jump onto the bandwagon only to find your mother already there and heck, it’s too late to jump off now!

elle-india-5Editorial Photography by Tarun Vishwa for Elle IndiaClick here for his portfolio

Fashion doesn’t last. It is not an investment. Unless you’re purchasing it as Art. Then feel free to hang it in your living room mantelpiece out for display in all its lace and net glory, fast gathering dust. Visitors and guests can be encouraged to admire it for hours… Or not! Considering you wore it last year AND uploaded pictures for your 1079 Facebook friends to see.

In which case, you could choose to retire the once-in-vogue masterpiece to your gigantic walk-in closet, reserving an entire corner for ‘Costume Art’ or ‘Fashion’. Yes, doesn’t sound half bad, right? Except, that you probably don’t have a walk-in closet. 😛

13_04_2009_0289344001239576745_craig-mcdeanPhotography by Karen Elson |  Click here for her work

So what do you do with all those gorgeous, expensive once-‘in’ dresses already worn enough to make a collective impression?

Unless you’ve got a truly eclectic sense of style handed to a chosen few who can manage to snip, cut and transform old clothing into new styles, you’re stuck!

Which is why, fashion rental.

“Fashion doesn’t last. Style does”

While basics and classics can still be considered an investment, anything else qualifies to form a giant show-piece in the drawing room of your wardrobe.

So, yes go all out and buy white shirts, blue jeans and black tanks. For everything else, look to fashion rental.

11694142_1700654610170289_2756000955207278483_nRent this outfit on Flyrobe

Going out? Order a dress 3 hours before. Not sure if the midi skirt is right for you? Rent one to try out. Have a meeting to nail, date to impress or are just feeling happy, sad, excited or experimental, rent an on-trend outfit and get ready to feel heavenly.

Because, there is nothing more liberating than seeing a newer, happier and more empowered version of yourself.

And of course, the joy of an unlimited wardrobe online and a clutter-free one at home! 😉

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Some fashion rental sites you can check out:

FLYROBE  | http://flyrobe.com/#/home

SWISHLIST | http://www.swishlist.in/

KLOZEE | http://klozee.com/

SECRET WARDROBE | http://www.secretwardrobe.in/